Baggage

So, We've been moving these past couple of weeks. We (my wife, son, and dog) packed up the life that we had created for ourselves in Pasadena and hauled it all to our new home in Oklahoma City.  This isn't the first time that either one of us have done this.  In college, the Fraternity I belonged to moved every single year that I was an active member.  But this particular move has proven to be harder than some of the past ones.  Perhaps it was because of the relationships that had been developed and the memories that had been made in SoCal, but at this particular moment I am fairly well convinced that the difficulty of this move boils down to one simple fact...we had (and continue to have) a lot of stuff.  I don't say that in a "heylookatuslookhowgreatwearewithallourstuff" kind of way, I say it in a "OHMYGAWDWHEREDIDALLTHISSTUFFCOMEFROM???" kind of way.  I mean seriously, we're young, our kid is young....where did it all come from?

We don't usually perceive stuff to be a problem.  Our society is built upon the premise of the more stuff we have the more "successful" and "happy" we certainly are.  Whether it be clothes, games, toys, tools, or whatever our particular pleasure might be, most of us like to have stuff. But there's a bitter irony to be found in the quest to accumulate higher quantities of (usually) more expensive stuff: We don't usually think about how much stuff we have until it's time to move it.  And that's when stuff turns into something else....baggage.
And please understand the distinction. Stuff exists to be played with, used, and admired.  Baggage exists to be carried, hauled, pushed, and pulled.  Whether it be across the country or across the airport, the more baggage we have the more difficult (and costly) our journey becomes.

And of course the truth of the matter is that we all have stuff that we have accumulated...both within our homes and within our spirits. This is a fundamental reality of the journey of life.  Our stuff, be it physical or metaphorical, represents our life, it is a tangible manifestation of our experiences...both positive and otherwise.  This is why it becomes so difficult to let go of our accumulated possessions.  Everything has an experience, a person, and a memory attached to it, and perhaps within the depths of our heart we are afraid that if we part with that possession...we part with that memory or perhaps even that person.  In the same way, we can struggle to break free from the stuff that accumulates within our hearts, minds, and spirits. Some of the stuff we carry we desperately want to be freed from, emotions like hurt, anger, grief, regret and longing are all natural millstones that we would love to have removed from our neck....but then there are other feelings and emotions that swirl around inside of us that we desperately want to hold on to, this stuff is usually associated with whatever period in our life (either personal or professional) that we classify as our "glory days."  Why would we ever want to let go of those memories, feelings, and the euphoria that comes from recounting the "good old days?"  For the same reason we have got to let go of those negative experiences that continue to haunt us...be it good or ill, these feelings and thoughts kind of meld together and stack on top of each other until there is this weight that has seemingly overnight turned into baggage that we are compelled to haul around as we move from place to place. And what this baggage does is prevent us from experiencing anything new.

Think about it, when we're busy hauling stuff around, how focused are we on our destination?  We're pretty determined aren't we?  It's rare that when we are overloaded with baggage we are content to take the time to browse the shops at the airport or to stop off at the tourist destinations along the highway.  We just want to get there (wherever "there" might be). Jesus said a little something about this reality.  When he met that rich young man (Luke 18) he told him that if he wanted to experience the Kingdom of God, he needed to let go of his stuff.  Why?  I think it's because that it is next to impossible to experience the new unless we are able to part with the old.  The "stuff," the possessions that man carried around represented his life...his "glory days," if you will.  But Jesus offered and continues to offer a different way...and a different glory...one that cannot be experienced until we are willing to no longer allow our possessions and our past to define us.

Just as this was true for that rich man...just as it is true for each and every one of us.  The same is true for the Church.  There perhaps is no other place on the face of the earth were stuff accumulates and becomes sacred faster than in the church.  Oh my goodness to our churches have a lot of stuff.  I remember the week where some folks in my congregation in Pasadena cleaned our our worship closets....took them a whole week, and there is still a lot there. My fellow youth ministers know how quickly stuff accumulates in a youth room.  Every time someone needs to get rid of a couch, the natural instinct is, "hey, let's give it to the youth."  And what do we do?  We graciously take it, and put it next to the 5 other circa 1984 couches that sit in that same room.

And just as physical stuff accumulates quickly...so does emotional stuff.  Our churches fondly remember the "glory days" and the "way we've always done it."  We talk to no end about former pastors or members that are long since gone. We remember that great VBS from years ago or the wonderful potluck dinner that was held once.  Each room within the church is filled with invisible stuff.  And you know what?  It's turned into baggage...and it's crippling us. We lug it from year to year, minister to minister and perhaps even building to building.  The baggage that our churches are carrying are preventing us from enjoying the journey and from experiencing anything new.  We have become that rich young man weeping in grief because we have "many possessions."  In the words of the song from the movie, Frozen, we have got to "let it go."

I am fairly well convinced that it is next to impossible to "Live in Love" until we can free ourselves from the burdens that have accumulated around us and within us.

What stuff are you holding on to? What baggage are you lugging from place to place?  Churches, what invisible stuff exists within your rooms and your DNA?  What do we need to let go of?  How can we seek to lighten to burdens of another?  How can we better share together in the journey of life?

"Come to me you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest." ~Jesus of Nazareth



 

A Word of Thanks

The following is a final Word of Thanksgiving that comes from my heart and is extended to the people of Pasadena Christian Church (Disciples of Christ)

7/13/2014

Today will be the final time that I will have an opportunity to serve together with you as your pastor.  I grieve the thought that a parting of ways will soon occur but I also rejoice and give thanks for the opportunity that we have been given to share in church, life, and faith with one another.  It has been an incredible three years.  I am humbled by the trust you have put in me to allow me to share in the sacred moments of your lives and the lives of your loved ones.  I have been honored to be with you in moments of sickness, grief, anxiety, and uncertainty.  I have been blessed to share with you in your moments of joy and sheer exuberance.  The tears shed and the laughs shared have been sacred ones, and I will take those experiences with me as I go. 

Thank you for the grace and love that you have extended to and imparted on my family.  You have given Zachary his first glimpses of the Church and you are responsible for the joy he feels every time he hears the word, "church." I will be forever grateful for the lessons that you have taught my son.  Thank you for the love and encouragement that you have poured out to Debra as she has endeavored in ministry at her congregation.  We have been blessed to be able to walk alongside you, just as you have walked alongside us.  The bonds that have been forged will not easily be broken and the memories shared will not quickly fade away. 

May the Peace of God and the God of Peace be with you today, tomorrow, and forever. 

 

Time Out

There are a lot of changes that are coming to our family in the next few weeks.  We're moving, it is seems that everyone knows this by now, well, almost everyone.  It seems that our 2 year old son, Zach, still feels like he is somewhat in the dark about everything that is happening in his little (but rapidly expanding) world.  He knows about "Oklahoma," but that's really it. What he doesn't know is why the house continues to get more and more empty, or why toys that he would run to with excitement and regularity are now no longer in their usual places.  He does not know why big cardboard boxes keep appearing all over the house, and he does not really know what it means to have to say "goodbye" to his friends and his teachers at the amazingly wonderful school he has been in for almost his entire life.  Changes are coming...changes that he does not understand. 

If you were to spend no more than five minutes with Zach you would learn something rather quickly.  He likes to be in charge.  He's been like this his entire life.  He wants things done a particular way, on his terms, and on his time schedule.  It seems like just as soon as he could communicate he has had no qualms about letting his mother, myself, the dog, or anyone else know what he thinks, wants, and expects.  But now things are changing...things he cannot control.  So over the past week or so he has been diligently attempting to reassert some control over his surroundings.  To say that a different way, he has been attempting to assert some control over me.  This morning, for example, he told me in no uncertain terms that I needed to go to "Time Out."  When I asked why, he just repeated again, "Time Out!" When I walked away from him, chuckling a little bit to myself, I looked back and he said to me, "I need Time Out."  So I asked him, "Do you want to go to time out?" He said yes. 

While this time Zach chose to instead go back to eating his breakfast, this was not the first time Zach has actually asked to be put in "time out."  And I find myself wondering this afternoon, in the midst of the chaos and busyness of wrapping up things here in Pasadena and getting ready to make the move to Oklahoma, if Zach knows something that most of us forget.  Sometimes in the midst of the chaos and calamity of our surroundings and as the inevitable reality of change comes to our neat little world sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves and really for every one else is to take a "time out." 

For me, this is a difficult proposition.  There's too much to do, there's not enough minutes in the day to afford the opportunity to take a few moments of quiet rest.  This is at least what I think most of the time.  But today, as I write this, I remember Jesus, who was a pretty busy guy himself.  I remember that Jesus knew a little something about taking "time out."  He demonstrated his knowledge of it's importance when he took 40 days in the Wilderness,or a time of solitary mourning after the news of his cousin John's death, and the night of prayer in the garden of Gethsemane. He put his faith and his knowledge of how God works into action by taking the time to go to a "solitary place" to rest, pray, and recover.

As usual, I learned something from my son today.  I think that "Time Out" should become a thing, for kids and adults alike.  How can we start to carve these moments into if not our everyday schedule, at least our weekly one?  How can we begin to provide for ourselves the opportunity of not a vacation, not a trip to the spa or the golf course or the gym, but just a few moments of silence, stillness, and peace?

My prayer for today is that we all might provide ourselves the opportunity to rest, pray, and recover. 

"Be Still and Know that I am God...." ~Psalm 46: 10

 

Day One

Today begins our final week here in Pasadena, California. Next Monday our moving trailer will get picked up and will transport our belongings to our new life.  As I sit here in a blessedly quiet office on this morning I am grateful for the opportunity to pause, reflect, and give thanks for the past three years that Debra, Zach, Amos, and I have gotten to spend here in L.A.

When we moved here we didn't really have any idea what we were getting ourselves into, Debra was pregnant with Zach, we were leaving our families, friends, and really our entire lives behind in order to follow a call.  We were scared, excited, and nervous about what the future would hold for the 2 (3) of us.  But in the midst of that scared, nervous excitement there was also this peace that existed within our hearts.  We truly felt that this is where God was calling us to live and to serve, and when God calls, you go.  Looking back, I am so thankful we followed God's leading. It has been an incredible three years here in California.  Our family has grown, our lives have been enriched, and our faith has grown stronger.  Debra and I both have had the opportunity to serve beautiful congregations and we will not soon forget the ministry that has been done here.

But now, it is on to a new chapter.  We are headed home! Well, a new home anyway, but back to the Midwest.  We are moving to Oklahoma City and I am so excited about the opportunity to get to serve in youth ministry once again. I initially perceived my call to serve to be in youth ministry and I have missed the opportunity to share in those crazy, unpredictable, God-sized moments that only youth group, mission trips, and camp can provide.  I am grateful to God for calling me back into this blessed task and I am grateful to my new congregation, First Christian Church-Midwest City, OK for entrusting me with this sacred call.

The coming transition is the cause for the genesis of this blog. The title, "Live in Love," reflects the hope that this will be a space to share how love evident and abundant in this messy, mixed up, yet altogether beautiful world. I do not consider myself a writer and it is humbling for me to have you read what will prove to be raw, unfiltered, random thoughts.  I do hope that this will prove to be safe space to share thoughts, ideas, reflections, and ministry moments. 

"Love one another, as I have loved you..." ~ Jesus of Nazareth