The other day I'm cruising down the highway listening to the "Frozen" soundtrack (don't judge, just let it go) when I run over something hard and metallic, which, of course, blew out one of my front tires. This was not the first time this has happened since moving to Oklahoma, so my level of frustration was higher than it probably should have been as I maneuvered my poor car off the highway and over to the shoulder.
After reassuring my three-year-old son who was in the backseat that we were okay and answering "yes" multiple times to the question, "Daddy broke a tire?" I had just begun the process of unpacking all the needed items to change out said tire when an old, beat-up minivan pulls up behind me. "Great," I thought, "This is how most horror movies begin."
I needn't have been concerned, however, because out of that van stepped an older gentleman who simply needed to know if I needed any help with the car. After thanking this Good Samaritan and telling him that I thought I could handle it, we got to talking for a few minutes. Seeing as how I was rather preoccupied with the task at hand, this man did most of the questioning. "Are you from around here?" (Yes) While pointing to my son in the back seat, "Is this your only child?" (No) And then, seemingly out of the blue, this question came to me, "Are you a Christian?" After recovering quickly at the surprise of this inquiry, I told him yes and that my wife and I were in fact, both ordained pastors. He smiled, nodded and then replied, "Well, I'm glad I stopped." Just like that, he then got back into his van and drove away. It was an awkward end to an otherwise (given the circumstances) pleasant exchange.
In the days since that event, I have been thinking more about that man and about that conversation and namely his desire to know if I proclaimed myself as a follower of Jesus. As I recounted that experience in my mind and to my wife, my mind started to ask questions. What would his response been had I answered otherwise? Would the same offer to help had been extended (or rescinded) if I had professed allegiance to another faith (or no faith at all)? Was there an intention present all along to evangelize a young(ish) broken down traveler? The truth of the matter is, I have no idea and will never have a way of knowing. All I know for sure is that I am grateful for his willingness to stop and help, and now as I continue to think back on that exchange there on the side of the highway, I realize why the ending of that conversation seems so perplexing to me;
I never would have thought to inquire about the religious beliefs of a person I had just met.
As I came to that understanding, I also realized that I cannot remember the last time (if ever) I have actually inquired about anyone's religious affiliation, regardless of the circumstances. As a pastor, this feels strange to acknowledge, but I believe it is, in fact, true. In my ten-plus years of pastoral ministry, I do not think the words, "Are you a Christian" have ever passed through my lips. To be honest, I do not know if I've ever asked anyone if they even WANT to be a Christian. Once this light dawned on me, I thought to myself, "I might be the world's worst evangelist."
If this is true, I accept that title. To be fair, I come by my evangelistic inadequacies honestly. As a life-long member of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) I am part of a tradition that tends to shy away from that sort of on-the-spot questioning. As a tried and true introvert, I tend to prefer to be left to my own devices and generally assume that most others do as well. Who are you to question me? Who am I to question you? Finally, and this perhaps is the biggest influence into my lacking desire to be considered an "evangelist," I have rarely seen evangelism, at least in it's traditional, culturally accepted form, done well.
I have memories of being in seminary and having people hand out tracts in downtown Ft. Worth and telling me that my seminary education made me LESS of a Christian, I can remember people walking around with giant crosses slung over their shoulder, yelling at me to "repent" (again in Ft. Worth), and here in Oklahoma City there is a giant billboard on the side of one of our highways asking us the question, "If you die tonight: Heaven or Hell?" A week or two ago I found a Bible tract strategically placed on the toilet paper dispenser at Starbucks (really?). Even on a more personal level, there have been plenty of times when, in the midst of the conversations with other Christians, the topic of religious beliefs came up, the message I have gotten over and over is that if I don't adhere to their particular flavor of Christianity, then I AM in fact, less of a Christian.
So as I think about how I may in fact hold the title for "World's Worst Evangelist," I realize that if I am being judged against some of the methods I just described, than I am perfectly okay with that title. Because, you know what? None of the above methods even come close to describing the path that I followed to get to a place in my life where I proclaim myself as a follower of Jesus. Never after hearing someone yell at me to "repent" have I been moved into a different direction, never after seeing a billboard or hearing a talking head on television talk to me about buying into their brand of "fire insurance" have I felt myself drawn closer to Jesus, and there isn't a pamphlet or tract that has ever (or ever will be) printed that will cause my spirit to connect with the Spirit of the Divine.
As a matter of fact, as I think about my own faith journey, I do not have the slightest clue who it was who first told me about Jesus. Honestly, I have no idea who it was who "evangelized" me. It might have been a minister, it might have been my parents or grandparents, I don't know. I do not have any recollection of my "salvation" moment or the time I "asked Jesus into my heart." What I do know is that I have a very clear memory of all those throughout my life who have walked with me, shown me what it means to live like Jesus, and inspired me to go and do likewise.
To me, this is what evangelism is anyway. Evangelism cannot be and thankfully is not "peddling" Jesus like we would vacuum cleaners or carpet cleaning services. It is in fact, seeking to embody the life and lifestyle of Jesus. It's doing our best to live in the manner he did and inspiring those around us to attempt to do likewise. Throughout the course of his ministry, Jesus never asked the question, "Are you a Jew?" or told those of a different belief system to change their understanding before he would join them on the journey. It did not matter if the one whom Jesus encountered was a Jew, a Samaritan, or even a Roman, He loved and served unconditionally, with grace, humility, compassion, and perhaps most importantly, respect.
The way of Jesus does not translate well to a billboard or a tract, but that's okay, it was never meant to. It won't sell many books or promote too many political campaigns (but imagine if it did). The way of Jesus is meant to be embodied in and among all God's beautiful creation. I am thankful to all those who have come into my life who have shown me The Way, not through words, but through a listening ear, a hug, a shoulder to cry on, and the demonstrated desire to walk with me on this journey.
This is the kind of evangelism in which I desire to engage. And come to think of it, I'm not all that great at this kind, either. But walking with, loving, respecting, and listening to my fellow human beings sounds like something I'd much prefer to continue to improve.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
What If There Was A Different Way?
A new study has been released that offers new insight into the sleep habits of American teenagers. Brace yourself, this may shock you. They don't sleep enough. New research is out that gives as a fairly in-depth peek into the sleep habits of our students.
In this latest report, we are told, once again, that almost all of America's teens do not come anywhere close to getting the recommended nine to ten hours of sleep per night. According to this study it is far more likely that a typical American teenager will get closer to five hours/night rather than the highly recommended nine or ten. If my math is correct (which is no guarantee) that would mean that, assuming that most have to awake sometime between five and six o clock in order to get to school on time, on average, our students are finally drifting off to dreamland well after midnight and perhaps as late/early as one or two o clock in the morning.
While the statistics are interesting, they, for anyone who either has, was, or works with middle school and high school students, are not the least bit surprising, nor is this anything new. I remember these same conversations taking place when I was in high school and as I remember my own sleep habits as a teenager, I was certainly on the five to six hours a night side of the scale. When it comes to teenagers getting an even somewhat adequate amount of rest each day, the struggle is real. As I was reading this article, I found myself thinking about a conversations that I have had over the years with students, and I remember thinking, as they detailed to me how much homework and how many hours of extracurricular activities they had each day, "Gosh, when do you sleep?" And as it turned out, they really didn't. Of course, the causes for the sleep deprivation that exists among our students has been well documented and debated. It seems that everyone has their own opinion about what needs to change in order for some semblance of balance is restored. It's either school start times, the amount of homework that is assigned each day, the amount of hours required by band, choir, theater, and athletics, after (or before) school jobs, or maybe it is in fact the increased prevalence of technology in the bedroom of our teenagers.
The truth, of course, is somewhere in the middle. It is a combination of these factors in addition to a variety of other variables that contributes to the seemingly constant sleepiness of our students. No matter which way we slice it, teenagers are busy. From the moment they wake to the moment they (eventually) go to sleep, they bounce from activity to activity and obligation to obligation. It hardly seems that for many, there is even enough time left in the day to eat, let alone rest. So what place does the Church, and it's ministry to her students, have in the already jam packed lives of those same students that we have been called to serve?
On average, youth ministers and volunteer leaders get somewhere between three to six hours a week of "programmed" time with their students. Currently, at the church I serve I am blessed to have about four hours a week set aside for our youth ministry program. There is a temptation in those precious few hours we have to share together to pack as much in as we possibly can. This, of course,is the continuing trend in our culture, and thus, in our attempt to "stay relevant," this is the continuing trend in youth ministry. It seems only reasonable, after all, if we only have four hours a week to "bring kids to Jesus," then we better pack it all in, right? The temptation is there for us to bounce from music to games, to Bible studies in quick succession, feeling like time (and attention spans) is at a premium.
This is an approach to ministry that I do not understand, and one that seems completely counter intuitive as we consider the already over programmed and exhausting lives so many of our students already lead. Why does the Church, the place where all (students and adults alike) have traditionally come to seeking sanctuary and rest, have to resemble each and every other moment of our chaotic lives? The short answer is, it does not. Lest we forget that we come to Church on the Sabbath, the Holy day of rest. Youth, how often do you leave your places of worship just as exhausted as you would leave your schools, rehearsal halls, or playing fields? Adults, do you ever come to church just as (if not more) concerned about what you are responsible for that day as if you were headed off to work? If you answered "yes" to these questions than that means we, as ministers, are doing you a disservice and that our congregations have lost sight of our original charge: to be a place of safe haven where a meeting between the Creator and Creation can be facilitated.
What if there was a different way? What if there was a way of ministry that was not so much focused on "what we are going to do," but instead was focused on "how we are going to be?" What if we were able to create safe, sacred space within the midst of our fundraisers, Bible studies, mission projects, and trips to the bowling alley, for rest, for silence, for intentional prayer, and for unstructured conversation that allows faith, life, and relationships to intersect in altogether beautiful and unexpected ways? What if "Youth Group" (or whatever fancy name you have for your program) could once again be a place where we no longer hear how tired our students are, because we are giving them the space to rest and recover in the way that the need that night? What if, in short, our ministries became far less about program, and far more about presence?
In this latest report, we are told, once again, that almost all of America's teens do not come anywhere close to getting the recommended nine to ten hours of sleep per night. According to this study it is far more likely that a typical American teenager will get closer to five hours/night rather than the highly recommended nine or ten. If my math is correct (which is no guarantee) that would mean that, assuming that most have to awake sometime between five and six o clock in order to get to school on time, on average, our students are finally drifting off to dreamland well after midnight and perhaps as late/early as one or two o clock in the morning.
While the statistics are interesting, they, for anyone who either has, was, or works with middle school and high school students, are not the least bit surprising, nor is this anything new. I remember these same conversations taking place when I was in high school and as I remember my own sleep habits as a teenager, I was certainly on the five to six hours a night side of the scale. When it comes to teenagers getting an even somewhat adequate amount of rest each day, the struggle is real. As I was reading this article, I found myself thinking about a conversations that I have had over the years with students, and I remember thinking, as they detailed to me how much homework and how many hours of extracurricular activities they had each day, "Gosh, when do you sleep?" And as it turned out, they really didn't. Of course, the causes for the sleep deprivation that exists among our students has been well documented and debated. It seems that everyone has their own opinion about what needs to change in order for some semblance of balance is restored. It's either school start times, the amount of homework that is assigned each day, the amount of hours required by band, choir, theater, and athletics, after (or before) school jobs, or maybe it is in fact the increased prevalence of technology in the bedroom of our teenagers.
The truth, of course, is somewhere in the middle. It is a combination of these factors in addition to a variety of other variables that contributes to the seemingly constant sleepiness of our students. No matter which way we slice it, teenagers are busy. From the moment they wake to the moment they (eventually) go to sleep, they bounce from activity to activity and obligation to obligation. It hardly seems that for many, there is even enough time left in the day to eat, let alone rest. So what place does the Church, and it's ministry to her students, have in the already jam packed lives of those same students that we have been called to serve?
On average, youth ministers and volunteer leaders get somewhere between three to six hours a week of "programmed" time with their students. Currently, at the church I serve I am blessed to have about four hours a week set aside for our youth ministry program. There is a temptation in those precious few hours we have to share together to pack as much in as we possibly can. This, of course,is the continuing trend in our culture, and thus, in our attempt to "stay relevant," this is the continuing trend in youth ministry. It seems only reasonable, after all, if we only have four hours a week to "bring kids to Jesus," then we better pack it all in, right? The temptation is there for us to bounce from music to games, to Bible studies in quick succession, feeling like time (and attention spans) is at a premium.
This is an approach to ministry that I do not understand, and one that seems completely counter intuitive as we consider the already over programmed and exhausting lives so many of our students already lead. Why does the Church, the place where all (students and adults alike) have traditionally come to seeking sanctuary and rest, have to resemble each and every other moment of our chaotic lives? The short answer is, it does not. Lest we forget that we come to Church on the Sabbath, the Holy day of rest. Youth, how often do you leave your places of worship just as exhausted as you would leave your schools, rehearsal halls, or playing fields? Adults, do you ever come to church just as (if not more) concerned about what you are responsible for that day as if you were headed off to work? If you answered "yes" to these questions than that means we, as ministers, are doing you a disservice and that our congregations have lost sight of our original charge: to be a place of safe haven where a meeting between the Creator and Creation can be facilitated.
What if there was a different way? What if there was a way of ministry that was not so much focused on "what we are going to do," but instead was focused on "how we are going to be?" What if we were able to create safe, sacred space within the midst of our fundraisers, Bible studies, mission projects, and trips to the bowling alley, for rest, for silence, for intentional prayer, and for unstructured conversation that allows faith, life, and relationships to intersect in altogether beautiful and unexpected ways? What if "Youth Group" (or whatever fancy name you have for your program) could once again be a place where we no longer hear how tired our students are, because we are giving them the space to rest and recover in the way that the need that night? What if, in short, our ministries became far less about program, and far more about presence?
Thursday, January 22, 2015
Top Ten Lessons life as a Youth Minister has taught me
After a five year foray into the world of senior/solo ministry, I have returned to my first love of youth ministry. As I have been settling back in, I have been reflecting on what I have learned since coming to Oklahoma and what I have had reaffirmed to me after this five year break. While not an exhaustive list, here's my "top ten":
1. The world of Social Media is a strange and confusing place
Ten years ago, Facebook was just becoming a thing. Now, there is a new platform coming online almost daily. These new communication platforms provide a wonderful space for sharing, but they can also be perplexing, and perhaps even a little frightening for those of us who are still learning how to navigate them.
2. Lock-Ins are the very Best and the very Worst idea in Youth Ministry.
Pro Tip: Make bedtime mandatory, and make sure you either bring an air mattress or snag a couch
3. Teenagers are not (and don't want to be) the FUTURE of the Church.
Perhaps the greatest lie we have ever told our kids (and ourselves) is that they are the "future." When we use that language, what we are actually saying is, "wait your turn." Meanwhile, teenagers are longing to make a difference NOW, and to know they have a voice NOW. If we don't provide them the opportunity to get involved and make an impact today, they will find (and are finding) another organization who will.
4. There is nothing more sacred than unplanned, spontaneous conversation.
Ministry, like life, is meant to be organic. Teenagers know when we are trying to force the conversation or attempting to solicit certain answers/questions out of them. When things are forced, it creates an awkward situation for adult and teen alike. Sacred conversation happens when we allow shared time to flow naturally, at its own pace. This is true in a ministry setting, and it is true in our own homes.
5. When it comes to "program," less is most certainly more.
It seems like every moment of our teens lives are programmed for them. From the moment they wake to the moment they (finally) go to sleep, they bounce from one scheduled activity to the next. How many of us have had our teens say, "I'm tired," as they lay on the couch in the youth room, not wanting to participate in our tediously planned night of ministry? The last thing our youth need when they come to church is more "programming." What would it be like if we moved away from program, and focused much more on prayer, presence, and the building of relationships between one another and with the One who brought us together?
6. Teenagers are still woefully understood (and they know it).
Our youth are crazy, unpredictable, complicated humans. They ask questions that do not have answers, do things that defy all rational comprehension, lash out in anger and frustration one moment and then immediately turn around and cling to us like they need us more than anything. It can be so difficult for us as parents and youth leaders to understand why they do the things that they do. Sometimes we even ask, "Why?" Here's the thing, just as we don't understand them, they don't really understand themselves. Just as confusing as the body, mind, and spirit of a teenager is to us, we need to recognize that it is even more so to them. We do our teens or ourselves no justice by expressing the frustration that comes from our confusion to them.
7. Teenagers want to learn, but they do not necessarily want to be "taught."
Gone are the days where our youth willingly defer to the "experts" and passively absorb information that is given to them. This can be frustrating for us in ministry because our ministry models are still built upon the premise that the "expert" (minister or youth leader) provides the Good News and our teenagers will willingly lap it up like a dog at his water bowl. That does not mean, however, that they do not want to learn. The difference now is that they want to participate equally in the search for knowledge and Truth. Blessed is the youth ministry the provides safe space for an equal exchange of ideas and allows for cooperative exploration.
8. Safe ground is Holy ground.
The world is a beautiful place, but it is also a frightening one. Our youth come to us at Church out a variety of contexts, not all of them are the safest and most secure. No matter what we are told, our teens come to us seeking sanctuary and an hour or two where they know that they will be safe and protected. It is when our youth know that their minds, bodies, and spirits are safe from judgement, condemnation, ridicule, and pressure, that they will, over time, begin to open up and share the deepest longings and questions of their heart. We may sometimes wonder why our youth are not sharing, talking, or paying all that much attention and often it is because they are trying to figure out if this space is safe and these people around them can be trusted. Each teenager reaches their own conclusions on their own time. This process cannot be forced.
9. "Numbers" do not matter, but Growth does.
Perhaps the greatest trap to ever befall youth ministry programs is the trap of the "numbers game." We all have fallen into it. We seek to compare ourselves to other programs based on the number of youth who come to our weekly programs, how many we take on mission trips, and how many go to summer camp. Programs have been judged and youth ministers have been hired and fired based on the numbers game. But here's the deal, numbers do not matter. Jesus himself only had 12 followers. Ministry cannot and should not be judged based on how many kids we are able to cram into a room. But while numbers do not matter, growth does. Ministries should be evaluated based on how they are growing trust, relationships, community, authenticity, and the desire to serve.
10. Teenagers desire to experience the very real love of God and desperately want the Church to be the place where that experience happens.
The Church has gotten a bad rap over the years and we are often told that teens do not need or want the Church any longer. This is hogwash. The Church can be and still is the place that most of our youth associate with God. They need and want God in their lives, and they also need and want the Church. The burden is NOT on them to conform to our programs, our theology, or "the way it has always been done," but instead the burden is on US to meet our youth where they are, to provide safe space, and to help facilitate a meeting between our teenagers and with the God who created them and loves them more than they will ever know.
1. The world of Social Media is a strange and confusing place
Ten years ago, Facebook was just becoming a thing. Now, there is a new platform coming online almost daily. These new communication platforms provide a wonderful space for sharing, but they can also be perplexing, and perhaps even a little frightening for those of us who are still learning how to navigate them.
2. Lock-Ins are the very Best and the very Worst idea in Youth Ministry.
Pro Tip: Make bedtime mandatory, and make sure you either bring an air mattress or snag a couch
3. Teenagers are not (and don't want to be) the FUTURE of the Church.
Perhaps the greatest lie we have ever told our kids (and ourselves) is that they are the "future." When we use that language, what we are actually saying is, "wait your turn." Meanwhile, teenagers are longing to make a difference NOW, and to know they have a voice NOW. If we don't provide them the opportunity to get involved and make an impact today, they will find (and are finding) another organization who will.
4. There is nothing more sacred than unplanned, spontaneous conversation.
Ministry, like life, is meant to be organic. Teenagers know when we are trying to force the conversation or attempting to solicit certain answers/questions out of them. When things are forced, it creates an awkward situation for adult and teen alike. Sacred conversation happens when we allow shared time to flow naturally, at its own pace. This is true in a ministry setting, and it is true in our own homes.
5. When it comes to "program," less is most certainly more.
It seems like every moment of our teens lives are programmed for them. From the moment they wake to the moment they (finally) go to sleep, they bounce from one scheduled activity to the next. How many of us have had our teens say, "I'm tired," as they lay on the couch in the youth room, not wanting to participate in our tediously planned night of ministry? The last thing our youth need when they come to church is more "programming." What would it be like if we moved away from program, and focused much more on prayer, presence, and the building of relationships between one another and with the One who brought us together?
6. Teenagers are still woefully understood (and they know it).
Our youth are crazy, unpredictable, complicated humans. They ask questions that do not have answers, do things that defy all rational comprehension, lash out in anger and frustration one moment and then immediately turn around and cling to us like they need us more than anything. It can be so difficult for us as parents and youth leaders to understand why they do the things that they do. Sometimes we even ask, "Why?" Here's the thing, just as we don't understand them, they don't really understand themselves. Just as confusing as the body, mind, and spirit of a teenager is to us, we need to recognize that it is even more so to them. We do our teens or ourselves no justice by expressing the frustration that comes from our confusion to them.
7. Teenagers want to learn, but they do not necessarily want to be "taught."
Gone are the days where our youth willingly defer to the "experts" and passively absorb information that is given to them. This can be frustrating for us in ministry because our ministry models are still built upon the premise that the "expert" (minister or youth leader) provides the Good News and our teenagers will willingly lap it up like a dog at his water bowl. That does not mean, however, that they do not want to learn. The difference now is that they want to participate equally in the search for knowledge and Truth. Blessed is the youth ministry the provides safe space for an equal exchange of ideas and allows for cooperative exploration.
8. Safe ground is Holy ground.
The world is a beautiful place, but it is also a frightening one. Our youth come to us at Church out a variety of contexts, not all of them are the safest and most secure. No matter what we are told, our teens come to us seeking sanctuary and an hour or two where they know that they will be safe and protected. It is when our youth know that their minds, bodies, and spirits are safe from judgement, condemnation, ridicule, and pressure, that they will, over time, begin to open up and share the deepest longings and questions of their heart. We may sometimes wonder why our youth are not sharing, talking, or paying all that much attention and often it is because they are trying to figure out if this space is safe and these people around them can be trusted. Each teenager reaches their own conclusions on their own time. This process cannot be forced.
9. "Numbers" do not matter, but Growth does.
Perhaps the greatest trap to ever befall youth ministry programs is the trap of the "numbers game." We all have fallen into it. We seek to compare ourselves to other programs based on the number of youth who come to our weekly programs, how many we take on mission trips, and how many go to summer camp. Programs have been judged and youth ministers have been hired and fired based on the numbers game. But here's the deal, numbers do not matter. Jesus himself only had 12 followers. Ministry cannot and should not be judged based on how many kids we are able to cram into a room. But while numbers do not matter, growth does. Ministries should be evaluated based on how they are growing trust, relationships, community, authenticity, and the desire to serve.
10. Teenagers desire to experience the very real love of God and desperately want the Church to be the place where that experience happens.
The Church has gotten a bad rap over the years and we are often told that teens do not need or want the Church any longer. This is hogwash. The Church can be and still is the place that most of our youth associate with God. They need and want God in their lives, and they also need and want the Church. The burden is NOT on them to conform to our programs, our theology, or "the way it has always been done," but instead the burden is on US to meet our youth where they are, to provide safe space, and to help facilitate a meeting between our teenagers and with the God who created them and loves them more than they will ever know.
Monday, January 19, 2015
An Open Letter to All Those Who Came To Church
To the one who came to church,
But you are here today. There are many times when I long to crawl inside your head and your heart so that I may see more clearly what leads you out of your daily grind and into the Church and what good news you long to hear.
What is it that brings you here? Is it obligation and a sense of duty? Is it a need for refuge and a desire for sanctuary? It is it a longing for community and companionship? To you come here looking for a sense of belonging? Do you enter through the doors of the Church desperately needing to hear the Good News that tomorrow can be brighter than today? What is it that calls you out of your home and into the house of God?
Perhaps you come out of a sense of duty, and you sometimes feel under appreciated or that your commitment is not noticed or does not make a difference. When you think those thoughts and when you feel like you are not making a difference, please know that I appreciate you and that what you do here is seen by the One we serve and that what you do matters.
Perhaps you are coming here seeking sanctuary and safety. Feeling as if the world is an unforgiving and unrelenting place you coming here seeking to have the waves of life buffered by the sturdy walls of the Church. As you seek that refuge, maybe there have been times when you have not felt safe even within the Church. Perhaps you even come here slightly wary, feeling like you have to be on guard even as you want nothing more than to lower your defenses. If you are coming here for safety, please know that I desire nothing more than for you to find it here.
Perhaps you come here for companionship and to know that you belong.. Perhaps you have recently retired, sent your children off to college, or bid a final farewell to a parent or spouse. Perhaps life has brought circumstances to you in such a way where now all you need is someone to sit and to share with. Even in the midst of the commotion of this day, and though or in spite of the numerous activities offered by the Church, I pray that you found a cup of coffee, a comfortable chair, and a soul or two to worship alongside you today. I pray that you were able to laugh, to cry, to listen, and to be listened to. I pray that I showed you love and properly acknowledged your presence here.
Perhaps you come here searching for Good News. Perhaps this has been a week of less-than-good news and you need more than anything to hear a word of hope and of promise. I hope that the words that were shared in the hallways, around the coffee pots, in the classrooms, and in worship were good words. I hope that you were able to hear a message of love from not just the scriptures and the sermon, but from the eyes, lips, and hearts from all in this place. I pray that you found yourself encouraged, strengthened, and enlivened by your time here. I pray that you, even for a moment, had your sense of hope restored.
No matter what led you to this place, and no matter if I will see you again next Sunday, please know that I am grateful and humbled to have the chance to share in a time of worship with you. Please know that I saw you here and that I thanked God that we had this time together. While I long to see you again, please know that no matter where life takes you that you will forever have a partner on the journey.
In Love and Gratitude,
Your Minister
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
So really it's about selfishness....
One week ago, just last Wednesday, the world awoke to news of an act of terror and senseless murder that had been committed in Paris. That day, and in the days since, media has been full of images, videos, and stories giving us every angle and every opinion about what happened at Charlie Hebdo and why it occurred. In those days we found ourselves riveted by the search for the attackers and the images of the gun battles that would eventually end the lives of the accused gunmen. Cable News has been full of "talking heads" who each have an opinion about what the world's response should be in the aftermath of Charlie Hebdo. Rallies have been held, signs declaring, "I am Charlie" have been made, and the people of Europe have come together in a remarkable and inspiring display of unity. The images that have been shared remind me a great deal of what took place here in the United States in those first days and weeks after 9/11. It is amazing how grief can build bridges and bring people together. I continue to grieve with the people of France and I pray for the day when "terror" of any form becomes just a distant, yet still painful memory.
At about the same time, on a different continent, another act of terror was occurring. Only we didn't know about it at the time. It wasn't until after we had become overly saturated by what happened in France did we learn about the incredibly horrible atrocities that had been committed by the militant group Boko Haram. There are now reports that up to 2000 civilians had been killed by this group and that up to 16 different villages had been razed. It was amazing (in an incredibly sad sort of way) to me that I first learned about this event not from CNN or from other major news outlets,but from random journalists that I follow on Twitter. When I first saw mentions of Nigeria coming across my Twitter feed, I did not at first know what was happening. It took a little bit of digging on my part to get the full scoop about what had happened and what was continuing to happen.
As I have started to compare the attention that Paris received to the attention garnered by the events in Nigeria I have gotten confused by the disparity. It is not like the world isn't aware of the brutal capabilities of Boko Haram. It's also not like the world hasn't responded publicly to previous atrocities committed by this terror group. We remember that it was the actions of Boko Haram that sparked the #bringbackourgirls campaign. So what was it about these two instances that caused one to be at the forefront of the consciousness of the Western world and the other to be relegated to the back pages and the closing statements of the news broadcasts?
As I have been wrestling with this question, I have been fighting the temptation to simplify it to the easy answer of "black" and "white" That is, the majority of the victims in France were Caucasian, and those in Nigeria were, of course, not. While we don't really know, and I'm sure that every news outlet will give a different response to their delay in reporting and the lack of attention to these atrocities that occurred in Nigeria, I imagine that the real reasoning boils down to an incredibly high level of ignorance on the part of so many of us (myself very much included) as to what the situation actually is on the African continent. I wonder how many of us could actually locate Nigeria on a map of Africa (I had to look it up) and I wonder how many of us can resonate at all with the political and social upheaval that is occurring in that country.
This is in sharp contrast to the situation in Paris where most (if not all) of us have some level of familiarity with the French way of life. We have either visited Paris, know someone from France, or can otherwise identify with the French people. In addition, what happened in France was an attack on "Free Speech" and for Westerners, there is not much that is more sacred to us than the right to express ourselves.
As I have started to process this disconnect on a deeper level I have started to wonder how we each pick and choose what we pay attention to. How do we determine what is important to us? How do we ascertain what (and who) matters more than others? I have started to ask these questions of myself as well. I have started to become more fully aware of the nice, neat little bubble that I have successfully wrapped myself up in. I am becoming more cognizant of where I get my news, who I talk to, and how my worldview is shaped. I have become aware that I paid more attention to what happened in Paris, because it, in theory, could happen here in Oklahoma City.
So really, at the end of the day, I guess it's about selfishness, and self preservation. But then I realize that has a follower of the risen Christ, selfishness and self preservation cannot be were my devotion lies. It is my prayer for myself that I will have the courage to expand my bubble, to become much more aware of what is happening outside of my very limited worldview, and will seek to invite others to do the same. Doing this while remembering that until all live in peace, none of us truly do.
Friday, January 9, 2015
Free Will in Matters of Life and Death
Did you see the story that broke last week about a 17 year old girl from Connecticut who, in the midst of her four month old battle against Hodgkin's Lymphoma, had somewhat recently decided to discontinue her chemotherapy treatments and seek "alternative" ways to combat the cancer that has invaded her body? This decision was supported and affirmed by her parents but not by the judicial system of the state of Connecticut. If you haven't read this story, read about it here:
In November of 2014, the Department of Children and Families was able to successfully petition the state to compel the girl, who is being identified in the media as "Cassandra" to undergo chemotherapy against her wishes and the wishes of her family. This action set off a peculiar chain of events including Cassandra running away from home, the state placing her in "protective" custody, and two rather intensive court battles. All of these actions were done in an attempt to reconcile to one basic question: "who has the authority to determine in what manner the health care of a minor will be administered?"
First, the facts (and it is in these facts that we begin to find the grey areas): Cassandra is a minor, the legal age of adulthood in Connecticut is 18. Under Connecticut law, her rights as a minor who still lives under care of her parents are fairly limited. She can not vote nor can she can (legally) drink. By law she is compelled to stay in high school unless she graduated early or her parents are able to demonstrate why it was in her best interest to withdraw, and she cannot legally get married unless her parents provide written permission.
More facts: according the the National Cancer Institute, Hodgkin's Lymphoma strikes approximately 9,000 Americans every single year. Out of those 9,000, approximately 1,100 patients die from this disease. This equates out to about a 12% mortality rate. In Cassandra's case, it was determined by medical professionals that, with treatment, she would have an 85% survival rate, but without treatment she would succumb to the cancer within two years.
There are obviously a lot of different things to consider in this case and I am thankful that I am not the one having to make this decision. From a legal standpoint, at the core of this case is the question of what is known as the "Mature Minor Doctrine," a policy that states that minors (those under 18) who still live under the care of their parents may make their own decisions regarding their health care. In this particular case, the courts have ruled that Cassandra and her parents were not competent enough to make these decisions. From what I understand, the basis for this judgement comes from the fact that Cassandra did run away from home not long after this legal battle began.
This case brings with it a multitude of questions that are thus far not being answered by media reports. It is my hope that more information will be forthcoming as this case undoubtedly continues to rise in the public consciousness. For me, the issues at hand come down to basic questions of autonomy. This case highlights a variety of similar medicinal questions that have arisen over the past several months, all of which coming back to this question of who has the ultimate authority to make medical decisions for an individual?
We can certainly understand both perspectives in this particular case. Medical professionals, supported by the state, firmly believe that they can save this girl's life. They believe that for her to deny treatment to herself is to deny herself of life. This tension is at the core of the medical code of ethics; doctors are here to preserve life. On the other side, we can certainly appreciate the perspective of this family. Cassandra does not want the toxic chemicals of chemotherapy in her body, she and her family want to pursue other forms of treatment, and it is believed by the mother that, "she isn't going to die." In a statement regarding her preferred choice to not undergo the chemotherapy treatments, Cassandra says that in regards to her life span, "it's about quality, not quantity."
As I have been reading up on this story, my mind has been drifting to the numerous instances about parents who, for whatever reason, refuse to vaccinate their children (Quick side note, if this is you, please, please, please, rethink that position, and if you still refuse to immunize your children, do not bring them into contact with my boys). We have recently heard reports about a measles (measles, people, a disease that we've pretty much taken care of) outbreak at Disneyland in California. So on the most basic levels, as it relates to the case in Connecticut, why is it legally appropriate to mandate that a 17-year old, whose cancer is of no threat to anyone but herself, continue chemotherapy treatments, but it is not just as appropriate to mandate vaccinations against altogether preventable diseases that pose a real public health issue? Why is one parent deemed negligent enough to warrant her daughter being placed in protective custody, but not those who refuse to have their children (who cannot yet make choices for themselves) immunized?
In addition, the question of autonomy remains. We certainly recall the story of the young woman in Oregon who became the standard-bearer for the "Death with Dignity" movement. There, we have a case where a legal adult chose to forgo any potential treatments and to allow her life end on her own terms. In this midst of that story, the same debate raged on; Who has the right to make these life/death decisions, and on what basis are those rights granted? There were (an undoubtedly still are) many who wish that the courts would have mandated some sort of treatment for this woman. Under what conditions, religious or otherwise, would it be acceptable to deny a woman with full cognitive function the right to have autonomy over her own life?
So as we come back to the story of Cassandra in Connecticut, the questions of autonomy remain. Can she make her own decisions? According to the state, no, she cannot. Can her parents make decisions for her? It would appear that under most circumstances, under Connecticut law, that yes, they can, so why not in this case? Finally, under what standard does (or should) the state(s) use to determine how health care should be administered?
From a faith-based perspective, the tension in this case and so many like it is very real. On one hand, the belief that life is precious and that all people have infinite value in the eyes of God is a core tenant of all faiths, and on the other hand we understand that human beings have free-will and autonomy over their own lives and are free to make their own choices. So how do we determine how these cases should be understood?
What say you? Are our churches providing the open space to grapple with such issues? Are our pastors providing the opportunity for honest conversation about how our congregants understand life and death and that murky grey area in between the two? How can we do a better job of helping to facilitate those conversations in an environment that is safe and free from judgement?
What say you? Are our churches providing the open space to grapple with such issues? Are our pastors providing the opportunity for honest conversation about how our congregants understand life and death and that murky grey area in between the two? How can we do a better job of helping to facilitate those conversations in an environment that is safe and free from judgement?
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Cold Mornings, Cold Hearts, and the Aftermath of Christmas
Baby, it's cold outside. Today is the first really cold morning that I can recall for us here in Oklahoma City this winter. Even in the midst of the cold here, and the continued reluctance of my three-year old to put a coat on before he goes outside, I know that we've got it pretty easy here in Oklahoma. So much of the country has now descended into that "bleak midwinter" and the nasty coldness that has come with it. The weather app on my iPhone tells me that my hometown of Kansas City, MO is getting windchills of -25 degrees today. Today, my heart goes out to all those who, for whatever cause, have to be outside in the ridiculousness of these temperatures. I hope that businesses, churches, and civic centers will be gracious in opening their doors today in order to give folks at least a few minutes of respite from the elements.
In addition to the arctic temperatures, there seems to be a different coldness that has settled upon us this winter, it seems that the ice that belongs outside on our ponds and riverbeds has weaseled its way into the hearts of so many across this country and across this world. You can sense it, can't you? Things are pretty broken right now. One only has to turn on the news, log onto Facebook or Twitter, or simply strike up a conversation with someone in the line at Starbucks to become inundated by the violence, fear, and negativity that is plaguing us as a people.
This morning we awoke to the news of the horrific terror attacks on the Paris offices of the French magazine, Charlie Hebdo, a horrific event that comes on the heels of the bombing of the NAACP offices in Colorado Springs (an event I am embarrassed to admit that I had no knowledge of until this morning). These events are compounded upon the loss of the AirAsia flight and the 150+ souls that were on board. Of course, we cannot fail to mention the continuing uneasiness and unrest in regards to the disputes in New York between the police unions and the mayor, the renewed calls for a new grand jury in Ferguson, and the continued violence on the streets of our own communities.
And while these stories are saddening and disheartening, this coldness that has seemingly settled upon us is making itself known in other ways. It seems to be manifesting itself through otherwise good human beings. As a people, we have separated ourselves from each other to the point of maddening ridiculousness. It seems that everyone has a "camp" in regards to whatever issue, topic, or debate is close to their heart. We all have become so entrenched on our side that we have created a "no mans land" of sorts in the middle and to cross this ideological divide is to do so at extreme peril.
Over these past several weeks, with all that has been going on, Facebook, Twitter, and the 24-hour news cycle has been bombarding us with all of the different positions on all the different issues. No matter the position, the message is the same, "believe and act this way, and if you don't, you're an idiot (or other derogatory term)..." What we are witnessing is otherwise good, faithful people, giving in to the fear and brokenness that is permeating our culture. We are seeing the freezing of spirits, and of hearts, and if the movie, "Frozen," taught us anything, it is that there is nothing more tragic or dangerous than a frozen heart. Until we can begin to see each other as people and not just positions, the deadlock will not be broken and the cycle will simply continue. Until we can understand the other and, in turn, be understood, thawing will not occur.
"A voice was heard in Ramah, wailing and loud lamentation, Rachel weeping for her children; she refused to be consoled, because they are no more.” ~Matthew 2:18
When I was preaching on a more regular basis I would often choose the text from Matthew 2: 16-18 as the basis for my sermon on the Sunday after Christmas. Perhaps there is no more a difficult text to preach than the one that details what we commonly refer to at, "the slaughter of the innocents," and it is a text that became even more difficult for me after Zach was born. But as difficult as it is, I am thankful to Matthew for including this story in his gospel, because it is in this story that we find the reality of the world into which Jesus was born and we are reminded of the reality in which we go through our days.
I have found myself thinking about this story quite a bit over these last couple of months, and I've been wondering how we should be responding to the brokenness that springs us all around us. I've been thinking about the families of the two officers that were killed in NYC, I've been thinking about the family of Michael Brown, I've been thinking about the families of those who lost loved ones on that doomed airliner, and today I've been praying with those impacted by the violence in Paris. These folks, and all those dealing with loss, fear, confusion, and discord have been on my heart, and I can imagine all of those beloved children of God asking the questions, "Doesn't anyone care, Doesn't anyone understand?"
The Good News is that Jesus understood, and understands, we know this because of the story of Matthew 2. If we take the words of Matthew's Gospel to heart, we can give thanks for the realization that he knew what it was like to be poor, knew what it was like to be afraid,knew what it was like to be a refugee, and he knew from an early age what it was like to have enemies. If Jesus were to tell us his own life's story, in his own words, he would have undoubtedly told of the time when he was two years old, his dad woke him up in the middle of the night, through him on the back of a donkey, and snuck the family out the back door as he heard the sound of hoofs and the sound of screams in the darkness.
And it was because Jesus knew and understood the realities of this life; he was able to show those around him that there was a way through it.
This is what makes the story we have here in Matthew 2 part of the Good News, it is Good News that Jesus is in fact one of us. Emmanuel doesn't just mean God just hangs out with us but is immune to the realities of life…Emmanuel means that God is with us…living what we live…experiencing what we experience…sharing our hopes with us…as one of us.
It is my hope that has we move further into 2015 we can do so with the understanding that the God of all Creation, and the One who is "the Word made flesh" meets us where we are, understands us, and has compassion for us. With this understanding may we in turn commit to meet one another in a place of compassion and understanding.
.
In addition to the arctic temperatures, there seems to be a different coldness that has settled upon us this winter, it seems that the ice that belongs outside on our ponds and riverbeds has weaseled its way into the hearts of so many across this country and across this world. You can sense it, can't you? Things are pretty broken right now. One only has to turn on the news, log onto Facebook or Twitter, or simply strike up a conversation with someone in the line at Starbucks to become inundated by the violence, fear, and negativity that is plaguing us as a people.
This morning we awoke to the news of the horrific terror attacks on the Paris offices of the French magazine, Charlie Hebdo, a horrific event that comes on the heels of the bombing of the NAACP offices in Colorado Springs (an event I am embarrassed to admit that I had no knowledge of until this morning). These events are compounded upon the loss of the AirAsia flight and the 150+ souls that were on board. Of course, we cannot fail to mention the continuing uneasiness and unrest in regards to the disputes in New York between the police unions and the mayor, the renewed calls for a new grand jury in Ferguson, and the continued violence on the streets of our own communities.
And while these stories are saddening and disheartening, this coldness that has seemingly settled upon us is making itself known in other ways. It seems to be manifesting itself through otherwise good human beings. As a people, we have separated ourselves from each other to the point of maddening ridiculousness. It seems that everyone has a "camp" in regards to whatever issue, topic, or debate is close to their heart. We all have become so entrenched on our side that we have created a "no mans land" of sorts in the middle and to cross this ideological divide is to do so at extreme peril.
Over these past several weeks, with all that has been going on, Facebook, Twitter, and the 24-hour news cycle has been bombarding us with all of the different positions on all the different issues. No matter the position, the message is the same, "believe and act this way, and if you don't, you're an idiot (or other derogatory term)..." What we are witnessing is otherwise good, faithful people, giving in to the fear and brokenness that is permeating our culture. We are seeing the freezing of spirits, and of hearts, and if the movie, "Frozen," taught us anything, it is that there is nothing more tragic or dangerous than a frozen heart. Until we can begin to see each other as people and not just positions, the deadlock will not be broken and the cycle will simply continue. Until we can understand the other and, in turn, be understood, thawing will not occur.
"A voice was heard in Ramah, wailing and loud lamentation, Rachel weeping for her children; she refused to be consoled, because they are no more.” ~Matthew 2:18
When I was preaching on a more regular basis I would often choose the text from Matthew 2: 16-18 as the basis for my sermon on the Sunday after Christmas. Perhaps there is no more a difficult text to preach than the one that details what we commonly refer to at, "the slaughter of the innocents," and it is a text that became even more difficult for me after Zach was born. But as difficult as it is, I am thankful to Matthew for including this story in his gospel, because it is in this story that we find the reality of the world into which Jesus was born and we are reminded of the reality in which we go through our days.
I have found myself thinking about this story quite a bit over these last couple of months, and I've been wondering how we should be responding to the brokenness that springs us all around us. I've been thinking about the families of the two officers that were killed in NYC, I've been thinking about the family of Michael Brown, I've been thinking about the families of those who lost loved ones on that doomed airliner, and today I've been praying with those impacted by the violence in Paris. These folks, and all those dealing with loss, fear, confusion, and discord have been on my heart, and I can imagine all of those beloved children of God asking the questions, "Doesn't anyone care, Doesn't anyone understand?"
The Good News is that Jesus understood, and understands, we know this because of the story of Matthew 2. If we take the words of Matthew's Gospel to heart, we can give thanks for the realization that he knew what it was like to be poor, knew what it was like to be afraid,knew what it was like to be a refugee, and he knew from an early age what it was like to have enemies. If Jesus were to tell us his own life's story, in his own words, he would have undoubtedly told of the time when he was two years old, his dad woke him up in the middle of the night, through him on the back of a donkey, and snuck the family out the back door as he heard the sound of hoofs and the sound of screams in the darkness.
And it was because Jesus knew and understood the realities of this life; he was able to show those around him that there was a way through it.
This is what makes the story we have here in Matthew 2 part of the Good News, it is Good News that Jesus is in fact one of us. Emmanuel doesn't just mean God just hangs out with us but is immune to the realities of life…Emmanuel means that God is with us…living what we live…experiencing what we experience…sharing our hopes with us…as one of us.
It is my hope that has we move further into 2015 we can do so with the understanding that the God of all Creation, and the One who is "the Word made flesh" meets us where we are, understands us, and has compassion for us. With this understanding may we in turn commit to meet one another in a place of compassion and understanding.
.
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